A TERCENTENARY DREAM. Who shall say That dreams do import nothing? Old Play. For dreams, too, come from Jove. Jones' Homer. Verissima nootis imago. Oradus. Sir,—Last night I dreamed a dream, and thinking it might possess matter of interest for some of your readers, I have set it down and send it to you. Methought I had left Rugby many years ago, and being now grown grey and bearded, had once more revisited the scenes of my youth on the anniversary of the Tercente nary. As I strayed into the School Quad rangle I was astonished to see that the stone paving had disappeared. In answer to a question, an intelligent Sixth fellow informed me that it was no longer necessary to com mence a general weeding in prospect of the advent of the Trustees, and that the School Quadrangle was no longer a receptacle for the waste paper and orange peel of the School in general, and of the School-House in particular. A rumour likewise reached me, though unsupported by authority, that members of the School-House no longer THE METEOR. S played cricket in the cloisters, with broom- handles and inverted dust-bins. Playing fives against the wall of Big-School was (I was given to understand) considered through out the School as a sign of social and moral degeneracy. What was still more strange, it had suddenly been discovered that the old Pump was neither useful nor ornamental, and in commemoration of the Tercentenary its removal had been ordered. On entering the Close I discovered that the board against trespassers had been re moved, no small boy of the lower orders having been prosecuted “ within the memory of man,”—that is (as explained by Mr. Hal- lam) since the era of Richard the Second. The ivy, planted on the outside of the schools looking towards the close, which in my day had always withered prematurely, now mantled richly over the ancient walls. Mr. Wilson’s scheme for removing the slope had been successfully carried out, and I was told that the laundresses had complained of a visible falling-off in the number of flannels which weekly fell into their hands. Suddenly the ground seemed to shake be neath the tread of armed feet. I turned my head, and beheld the Rifle Corps, three hun dred and twenty in number, marching into the close. Spies from Russia, Prance, Austria, and Prussia, followed close on their heels, in order to transmit to those great Powers hints borrowed from the bayonet- exercise and blank-cartridge firing of the Corps. I heard, without much surprise, that their ingress had been unprohibited by the Rugby Police Corps, who was at that moment keeping an observant eye on the public welfare in the tap-room of the Bog and Gun. During the progress of the evolu tions Captain Tobin suddenly levelled his rifle and shot a Phoenix, who at that moment was building his nest in the crater of an extinct volcano in the moon. This feat was greeted with loud applause. It is confidently affirmed that this rare bird will be stuffed and added to the valuable collection in the gallery of the Sixth School. Whilst I was expressing my delight at the accuracy of the shot, my cicerone pulled me by the sleeve, and whispered me that it was no long matter of doubt in the School, that the shooting of the Eleven at Wimbledon, this year, would be even more striking than that of last year. Being struck by seeing a small boy en gaged in studying a large folio sheet of paper, I enquired of him what it was, and was interested to discover that he was perus ing the Sociological and Biological column of the Meteor. The prosperity of this paper was chiefly proved by the Notices to Corre spondents, among which I observed the following:— Tom Brown .—Your style of writing is scarcely up to our standard. Study some ef the best models of English prose in the pages of the Meteor. G. J. Goschen .—You are improving rapidly. We have no doubt you will soon be sufficiently advanced to contribute papers to our columns on the “ Board of Trade,” and the “ Theory of Exchanges.” Lord Stanley .—Still too conservative and statistical. Purchase the Meteor’s “ Hand book to Statesmanship it will soon show you your most glaring faults. Let us hear from you again. I found, to my surprise, that the face of the Island was changed. Instead of a hideous exterior, deformed by the addition of unparallel parallel bars—which, though constructed for the purposes of suspension, invariably broke with anyone who trusted to their fair-seeming fickleness—as well as by the addition of rotten swings, which entailed a fall of forty feet on anyone suffi ciently rash to gravitate within them; the whole place now bloomed as the garden of Eden; odorous shrubs and beauteous flowers thrilled through the breast of the smallest fag, and awakened in him a romantic sense of the beauties of Nature. At the Racquet-court, as elsewhere, changes had gone on. The front wall had been finally re-built of imperishable stone and indis soluble cement. My cicerone informed me that before this desired consummation had been attained, enough money had been spent on the front wall to build two new Racquet Courts and half an Eton Fives Court. On glancing round the Close I discovered, to my astonishment, that my old friends the nets had disappeared. I could not conceal my chagrin at this; but my companion, when I mentioned the fact, tossed his head with an air of supreme content. “ You speak, sir, of the barbarous institution of a barbarous age. We have reached a higher stage of civilisation. Know, sir, that the faint and uncertain voice of tradition tells us of a time in the dim past when Rugby balls at Lord’s were not fielded, and Rugby catches at Lord’s were missed. But this time has passed away. Every new fellow is fagged to field two hours on every half-holiday, and 4 THE METEOR. one hour on every whole school-day during his first Term. This time is reduced by half an hour every Term. And what is the result ? A prize was given last Athletics to the best catch, but it could not be awarded, for no fellow was ever found to miss a catch, Forms n. hi. and iv. being always excepted, in consideration of their inability to resist the momentum imparted, by a body of the size of the cricket ball falling through space, with a velocity varying inversely as the square of the distance.” The elegance of the last sentence gave me a high idea of the advantages of a study of Natural Philosophy. My curiosity was not yet satisfied, and I eagerly enquired after the welfare of Foot ball : “ Are House Matches played with the same ardour as in former days ?” My com panion threw upon me a mingled glance of aversion and scorn. “ If by ardour,” he replied, “ you mean the bloodthirsty spirit which led to those disgraceful scenes of which tradition speaks, I am thankful to say that it has died out from amongst us. In accordance with a law passed at Big-side Levee, all House Twenties, before they begin to play, exchange the kiss of peace.” “ The kiss of peace!” I exclaimed, in a tone of strong disgust, “ Have the School become Quakers ?” “ And if they had imitated the peaceful character of the Society of Friends,” said my companion, “ what of that P Does it beseem your grey hairs, Sir, to strive to in flame the passions of the School about a ball of inflated leather? Does it beseem your grey hairs to recommend a calculation of the number of hacks which will suffice to break an opponent’s leg ? Know that every navvy is proscribed, the thickness of whose sole ex ceeds 12-100ths of an inch.” I blushed and was silent. “ Come this way,” he added, in a milder tone, “ you may be interested in hearing a debate at Big-side Levee.” I fol lowed eagerly to the Fifth School. What a sight burst upon my view! The whole Levee was seated in order upon benches. The chairman was dressed in a purple robe, on which were emblazoned the Founder’s arms. Before him lay a mace, topped by the letters “ L. S.” Three fags were occupied at a table as clerks, receiving the petitions and making minutes of the debates. Petitions were presented from twenty Moberlyites praying that measures might be taken against sundry bucolics who had thrashed them with pitchforks for trespassing; from seven Burrowsites, praying for the removal of the Cattle Fair and its attendant plagues to a greater distance from their House door; from fifteen Mayorites, praying that they might be no longer compelled to have their breakfasts in their studies; from ten “ en lightened Blakeites,” praying that the nui sance of Hand-fives in the porch might be stopped; from thirty School-House fags, praying that they might only have to sweep out the Prespostors’ studies every other week, and that night-fagging be reduced from half- an-hour to one quarter; from five “ very small Amoldites,” praying that leave be given them to play cricket on the grass before their house; and from the whole Town, praying that a severe fine be inflicted on all who ad dress members of the foundation by oppro- bious terms. Unfortunately, as the debate was about to begin, the chairman rose and ordered strangers to withdraw; whereupon I was reluctantly compelled to betake myself to my old House. After what I had heard of entrance exam inations, scholarship examinations, monthly unseen papers, Terminal unseen papers, Fifth lessons, extra lessons, I was scarcely aston ished on entering the House to find our boot- boy seated by the pantry fire and busily engaged in collating the Vatican and Bod leian M.SS. of Thucydides. In reply to a question of mine he informed me that he had just been writing for the Journal of Classical and Oriental Philology, a criticism on the Latin Primer. His review, he said, had been more imperfect than he would have wished, through his inability to consult the frag ments of Ennius and Previus, as well as the First Book of Cato —Be Be Bustica. He had hoped to be able to prove from those impor tant authorities that the first syllable of the word “ Primer ” was long and not short. He trusted, however, to rectify this deficiency during the holidays, by obtaining a sight of the valuable collection of anti-Ciceronian authors in the British museum. As I reached the hall door the sonorous cadences of a powerful voice fell upon my ear. I gently entered and took my seat un observed. Without much difficulty I dis covered that I was witnessing a meeting of the Blakeite Debating Society. The secre tary stole up to me and informed me in a whisper that they were at present uniting the glories of eloquence and science, and that the subject of debate was “ That the resemblance between the Caucassian and gorilla families, considered in relation to the ganglienic nerve and the tetanic chord, does not tend to favour the theory of the deriva- THE METEOR. 5 tion of man from the mollusc.” Whilst with the help of a member, who kindly offered his services as moonshee, I was endeavouring to grasp the full import of this mysterious proposition, a loud burst of applause greeted the conclusion of the speech. I started up —and discovered myself sitting in my bed in No. 2 bedroom, with the ten minutes’ bell ringing for first lesson.* * I am Sir, yours, &c., TREBLA. Rev. Jex Blake’s, Rugby. • We do not hold ourselves responsible either ior the waking assertions or the sleeping imaginations of our correspondent.— Ed.